20121004

It's already October. So fast! I am torn between happy and sad, because I felt like I haven't done much this year either, but on the other hand I am happy because I am nearing 2014-- which means I am nearing the execution of my Nippon 2K14 plan.

I feel like rambling a lot today so I think I am going to post long, long shit about death.

Yes, death.

In Ren's last blog entry we briefly talked about this and it makes me want to elaborate my thoughts on this.

I realize not many people are keen on this topic. People generally hate to be left out, to be forgotten, to be gone. We all want to be remembered. Is this because of human nature or something zen like that, I can't say. But that people is afraid of loneliness, it is pretty valid I think.

Death is a funny thing. It is the only one certainty in this whole world, yet most people cannot accept it. I think if people could accept is as the absolute certainty, people wouldn't be so afraid of it.

What is it people really want, anyway? To be remembered? To be known? For what? One to their each. Everybody has different goal, different mindset, different everything. But all of us are going to die anyway. Why not just accept that fact?

No, I think all of us actually know that we all are going to die someday. But people forget that fact once they are engrossed in something. When you are having a good time, you don't want that to end. Obviously. Death, needless to say, is the end. Who wouldn't dislike having their good time being interrupted by a permanent disappearance?

What is it that people consider as 'something' anyway? It all depends on how you look at it, right? Most people consider you something if you could 'help' other people. The larger the number of people you help, the bigger you would seem to their eyes. For example, if you are a CEO of a company that has a lot of workers, you're something.

Personally, I don't understand why people must set such big scale to make other people consider themselves something. As for me, as long as I could help the people that is closest to me, it is enough. I am happy with that.

For me, it doesn't have to be money. It doesn't have to be something material. In fact, material things are very ephemeral, it vanishes very quickly, and therefore I do not believe that they could make people happy.

My uncle once told me that if we only live for ourselves until we die, our live is wasted, because we are supposed to help other people in life.

To some extent I agree with that, but just how large is this 'other people' number you are talking about?

Back again, for me, what's important is the people that's closest to me. The people I love the most, the people I care about the most. If I could help them in any way, it is enough for me. If these people thought that I was a help for them, then I can die happy.

(Plus I have seen L'Arc~en~Ciel live I can die whenever now. )

Big goals are good of course, but small goals are important too. Everyone is different. And I know it is not easy to discover yourself and your own potentials (in fact it is really fucking hard okay), but if you could, little by little, you would see that in fact we're all worth for something-- even though only for a brief while, in this life.

If you, like I, think that we do not belong here in this dimension/ this world/ this universe, then who knows what's waiting for us after death? Think of it as a gateway to another quest.

It's all about the mind-set, really.